You should see me in action. I can gnaw through a beef pizzle in two hours. My half-brother, Bertie, takes two weeks to polish one off. If you are wondering what is a pizzle, it's the penis of an animal, especially a bull. Others might call it a schlong, sausage, phallus, pee-pee, male member, cock, dick, prick, knob, tool, willy, peter, Johnson. Capisce? When it i s cleaned, stretched and dehydrated it turns into a protein-rich, natural, easy to digest, long-lasting chew for

Humans yearn for unconditional love. It's an ego thing. To be loved for who you are, warts and all, with unquestioning devotion. You can't get that from another human. There has to be a bit of quid pro quo going on. So you placate yourself by believing that a dog gives unconditional love. Selfless, adoring, undemanding love. No strings attached. What tommy-rot! It assumes that we show pure, non-judgmental affection through enthusiastic greetings, licks and following you every

I mean, look at me. A sweet white furry thing with big eyes and a black nose. Curled up in the equally furry white bed. Look how nicely I am art directed as part of the furniture. Patricia Urquiola's Husk chairs. One of her favourite designers, says human mum. Cost a fortune, but only a 50% sale price fortune. She paid full price for me. No discount. No one discounts a pure breed West Highland White Terrier. Eileen Gray coffee table. And who is Eileen Gray, you might ask . Sh

I love driving in the car. I love movement. I love poking my face out of the window and feeling the air whiz past. It's the best. But I...

I know I am an exemplary example of my breed, the West Highland White Terrier. Note my pure white, wiry double coat with a hard outer...

While she toddles off to Sri Lanka - home of many dogs who all look the same and are free to roam the streets - I have been having the...

I am sorry Peggy, you have been my Number One, but I couldn't help myself. There she was with her droopy downy ears and syrupy brown...

I've written 80 blog stories. That's a lot for a Westie who's human mum doesn't take him for a walk every day so my view of the world is...

First, she tried to poison me and that didn't work so she decided to starve me to death. Honestly. When the vet said I was overweight, my...

My legs are typical for a Westie (remembering that I am an exemplar of my breed). My legs are short. On the other hand, my half-brother...

Sometimes I remember back to my Westie mum. She was just like me except bigger because I had just been born. She had big brown eyes just...

This is me after I've had a shower. Talk about rituals. I shower first and then my human mum has her shower and I have to wait for her to...

Several days ago, I was itching and scratching like a Brillo pad trying to clean a baked on fry pan. I couldn't stop. Licking my paws day...

I have just had a session with my groomer and I am looking particularly white. Pearlescent white as I have described previously. When I...

It's summer in my part of the world and it's hot. How to beat the heat? I do my sausage dog stretches on the concrete floor. Sausage dogs...

I was lying on the bed watching a fly bouncing off the walls. Outside it was sunny and blue skies and green leaves. Inside it was just...

A wee toy Westie was swallowed by a human and travelled through the human body into the stomach and out via the hole at other end. That...

I am asking because a few days ago I met a little Poodle Maltese cross. Very sweet and petite. Gorgeous fluffy square cut ears. I assumed...

I have nonchalance down to a T. It's all in the swagger, the pace, the rhythm, the air of "I don't give a damn." Of course, I do give a...

Some time ago, when I was a wee pup, I told you some of the names she calls me. Cute, cuddly names like Fluffball and Squirrel. Not any...