What's with the 8 o'clock rule?

She won't feed me until after eight in the morning even though I've been awake since six or sometimes earlier.

She says "You need to give your internal organs time to wake up. It's no good just stretching your legs and doing downward dog after a night's sleep, the inside of your body needs to get moving too so that it is ready for food."

Who says so? She's so scientist nutritionist.

The jury is out. Some scientists say it's good to wait others say it's OK to dive in and fill up on calories and carbs to get going.

Just because she doesn't eat breakfast. Before or after eight o'clock.

But I'm a dog and I want my food when I want it.

It's not like she's cooking me bacon and sausages and eggs with a slice of black pudding on the side (Scottish speciality), which I would like to have even occasionally. She just has to spoon my roo meat and steamed pumpkin from the bowl in the fridge and into my bowl. Done. How hard is that?

I have to wait while she has a cup of tea, in bed mind you, while she checks her emails and reads the latest news on her laptop.

Even if I place my paws on the laptop and tap it impatiently, she tells me to wait.

Sometimes I try to sit on her laptop. My thinking is that if she can't focus on the screen, she will have to focus on my breakfast. I am looking straight at her with my I-want-my-breakfast eyes.

No. She pushes me off and tells me to wait. So, I do. I try to be an obedient pet. I try to sleep. I roll on my back so she can tickle my tummy. I pretend to close my eyes. Nothing stops my tummy demanding food.

It's all about control. She thinks she can control my internal clock. No way. My internal clock is mine. And it's ticking. Ticking urgently. Tick tocking until eight o'clock, then I jump up and stare at her. She just has to look at her laptop to see it is eight o'clock.

So, then she feeds me. Hokum-pokum. She could have fed me an hour ago and I wouldn't have to suffer.