Honestly, when is the penny going to drop that you have got it wrong. DOG that is the correct spelling not GOD. Have you ever wondered...

The phone rang. She walked out of the room to answer it. I was on the sofa and it was sitting there. On a plate. On the Eileen Gray...

Horrible, selfish, demanding. They take all the attention away from moi. She spends more time looking at them than talking to me. Who...

Honestly. She did. She put me in a room full of cooked chicken bones. As soon as she opened the door, I could smell them. Chicken bones....

Wondering where I've been? In jail. A three week sentence. Crime unknown. I plead not guilty. I didn't even have a trial. She took me to...

I love going to Bertie's house because they have a mud bath in the garden. Bertie's human mum calls it a fish pond and there are a couple...

I was so excited. We were going to a birthday party. My birthday party because my birthday is May 24 in two days' time. (Remember for...

"Where are they?" she asks me. How should I know. What are "they"? Once, she said I had eaten them. The car keys? I don't think so. I...

I can't deny it. I am having sleepless nights thinking about her. Last night, I was up and about barking at the leaves shuffling in the...

Sniff sniff sniff If I get a whiff Of an anonymous pee That no human can see It's like reading a book And a chance for a look Into other...

There are new dogs next door. Don't know what type they are but they sure make horrible noises and they go on and on and on. At least...

"Well," she says, "That turned out to be quite a journey." You don't have to tell me. I was there. Every step of the way. Down the...

She says that I'm the most beautiful dog in the world. Then she tells me that I am bow legged. How can you be the most beautiful dog in...

She said we were going to the doggie park. Oh goodie, goodie, gum drops. I howled with excitement and could barely stand still long...

I was so excited. I was spinning in circles. We went to the new doggie park next to the river and she was carrying a square bag which she...

Some time ago, I wrote about having an identity crisis because she was calling me different names. Since then, she has explained that...

Passing wind is perfectly natural. Flatulence. Gas. Flatus. I don't know what the big fuss is. "Ughhhh, Lochy, you farted," she says,...

Westies do the best evil eye. You will know when we are not amused. Stop tummy tickling? You'll get the evil eye. Not paying me enough...

Now that I have spent the last 634 days of living with her, my human mum, I feel I am well qualified to pass on some sage advice....

All it took was one human to go out to his car and leave the gate open. I looked at Bertie. He looked at me. I winked and nodded and...