She tricked me.

She said we were going to the doggie park. Oh goodie, goodie, gum drops. I howled with excitement and could barely stand still long enough for her to put my harness on.

Into the car and off to the doggie park. Whoopie-do. I could picture in my mind all the dogs running up to me and welcoming me with sniffs and nose butts and doing zoomies at a million miles an hour. I thought, if I was really lucky, my bestie Bertie might be there and we could laugh and tumble and play together.

But when we got to the dog park, no dogs. What sort of dog park has no dogs? If there are no dogs is it still a dog park? (Very existential philosophical question for humans to think about.) She tricked me. Just me and her. Just like me and her at home. Now me and her at the dog park. Why bother?

I had a bit of a sniff, cocked my leg on a couple of weeds and jumped up on a seat. But it's no fun being the only dog in a dog park. She tried to make it a bit more fun for me and did a little run and I ran too. But my heart wasn't in it. I wanted to be running and tumbling and sniffing with other dogs.

I could tell she was disappointed too, but she should have known. Who takes a dog to a dog park at three in the afternoon? Dogs go to dog parks in the morning or after human work. Not at three in the afternoon. Drrrrrrrrr. Next she'll be wanting to feed me at midnight. No one gets fed in the middle of the night. I like to be fed at five o'clock on the dot. I like my Greenie at 10.30am, please.

She says that if I do something for two days in a row then I think it's a routine and I want it every day at the same time. It's true. A dog needs order and stability. Not living on the whim of a human who is all over the place like a mad woman's knitting. Just my luck to get stuck with a human who goes to a dog park at three in the afternoon. Sort yourself out, woman!