TAIL ALERT

My tail wags without me even asking it to. All Westies have very active tail wagging capabilities. The tail is a window to our soul.

We have very straight tails (except for my old friend Milou who had a bent tail. The vet didn't know why. Maybe his dog mum clenched too hard when he was a puppy and she was trying to pull him close to her). None of this curly nonsense.

Once, when I have had a haircut, the groomer asked if I wanted a carrot tail cut. What the *****? What has a carrot got to do with me and my tail?

She meant do I want a slimline tail or a fluffy tail. Hmmmmp. They don't know Westies. Westies don't have fluffy tails. We are not silly skittish fluff balls.

Our tails are an essential part of guarding the castle. Keeping the bugalars at bay and letting the world know that we are in charge. If you have a fuffy duck tail, you are not going to see the power of the tail.

Let me educate you.

There are proper studies to show that dogs wag their tails to the right when they are happy or confident and to the left when they are frightened. Do you know why? Because the left side of the brain controls movement on the right side of the body and vice versa. The left brain is more analytical, practical and orderly. The right brain is more visual and intuitive and senses if there is something wrong. That goes for humans, too, so take note.

A tail sticking up means assertiveness. Westies stick their tails straight up a lot, not surprisingly because we are very assertive and strong-willed. But if the tail goes past vertical and curls over the back, then we are feeling aggressive or tense. You should see how straight up our tails are in doggie show judging.

When our tail curls down and wraps under the bottom, then we are feeling submissive or frightened.

A slow wag when we are standing still means we are suspicious or uncertain.

Short backwards and forwards fast wags mean I am getting worked up so give me space.

The ones I like best are big wags side to side or round and round. Some humans call these helicopter tails. Nice and relaxed. Happy tail, happy dog.

So all you dog owners out there, if your dog wags his/her/its (most of dogs living with humans are its) tail to the left when he/she/it greets you then you should worry and re-evaluate your relationship with your dog. He/she/it might not like you.