Pooh, she smells

She's been rubbing something onto her arms and legs. And it stinks.

A package came to the front door a few days ago and inside was a brown bottle. And there it was. That smell.

She must have noticed that I was avoiding her when she rubs it on because she asked if I liked her new body oil. Before I could sneeze or splutter, she said it contains Country Mallow, Sesame Seed Oil, Black Gram, Nutgrass, Castor, Pluchea, Velvet Bean, Dill, Himalayan rock salt, Vanilla Oil, Frankincense Oil. All to make her mature skin soft and supple.

My doggy goddy! She could use it in a stir-fry.

Doesn't she realise that I have the most sensitive nose in the world. Can you imagine what all those ingredients smell like for a dog! Nasal overload.

There is so much action going on in my nose. I have 300 million sensory receptors in my nose (give or take a few million). Humans only have about six million. And my brain analyses smells about 40 times better than a human's.

Dogs remember smells. For years. Especially family so I would know my doggy mum in a line-up even if I couldn't see her.

Our noses are so sensitive that we can smell adrenalin and stress and fear. With a single sniff, we can smell the amines and acids that other dogs emit so we can talk to each other through chemical communication.

We can tell with one or two sniffs what another dog eats, whether it's a girl or boy, if it's happy or aggressive, healthy or poorly.

And we are neophiliacs (look it up). We are attracted to new odours which is why we constantly sniff lamp posts and tree trunks and weeds and other dogs' bottoms when we are out walking.

Being attracted to new smells doesn't mean we have to like them especially when they are on my human mum.

It doesn't smell like her.

I think she knows it smells funny because she rubs it on at night, not in the morning when she rubbed on other stuff which smells like her.

I want my old human mum smell back.