Jumpers

She washed my jumper. Just when it was starting smell like my jumper. She hand washed it in Softly so it smells like baby human.

I’ve only worn it for two weeks. It is my favourite jumper because it once belonged to my favourite friend, Milou, who is also a Westie. His owner washed it and it shrunk. (She obviously didn’t hand wash in Softly). Too small for him so I ended up with it. Hit the jackpot with this one. Soft lambswool and angora wool in mustard cable knit. I do look very handsome in it.

Then my owner stopped at David Jones on the way home from a meeting in the city and, while looking for god knows what, ended up in the doggie department where the Barbour doggie coats and jumpers were 20% off. And bought me a Fair Isle knit jumper. Of course, I like it - very Scottish and very masculine.

But didn’t buy me a coat. “I’m not spending $260 on a coat for a dog!” she said. But it’s me, mum. Aren't I worth it? You tell me how much you love me but won’t buy me a $260 coat to protect me from the cold and wet when we are walking. Put your money where your mouth is, woman! Milou’s owner would spend $260 on a coat for him. She spoils him. Unlike another Westie owner I know.

Then she washed my Fair Isle jumper just as it was smelling woofy. And you’ll never guess … no, it didn’t shrink … it expanded.

She put it on me and it was a bit loose around the neck but by the next day the neck had slid down to my tummy. She pulled it back up but when I woke up the next morning I wasn’t even wearing the jumper. It had slipped off completely. Oooooh, I was annoyed with her. Not impressed. I gave her the evil eye. How careless. Is this poor treatment of doggie jumpers common to all Westie owners?

So, she washes it again. Still too loose. Do something! I like my Fair Isle jumper.

Sometimes, she can be quite clever, she sewed hat elastic around the edge of the neck and now it fits me again. I’ve been testing it over four sleeps now and the jumper stays where it’s meant to be.

Now, back to the coat. Admittedly we don’t go for walks when it is raining but that’s not the point. You wear your Helly Hansen padded waterproof jacket with a hood when we walk and I wear ... nothing, just my harness. There are two sets of rules in our house, one for humans and one for Westies and I don’t like it. Equality for all species, I say.