I want to be a forensic investigator

How cool! My trainer's German Shepherd sniffs out human remains. And gets paid for it.

I could do that.

I need to do special sniffing training. I would like that and I know I would be very good because I have a curious mind and exceptional sensory perception.

It's in my blood. I am a ratter. Not a very nice name but we Westies were bred to sniff out rats in the barns of Scottish farms, and hunt down rabbits, badgers and otters on the West Highlands.

I am brave, determined, tenacious and independent. And I bark because if I am down in a hole I need to let my owner know where I am. These are all characteristics which I think would make a good forensic sniffer dog.

First of all, West Highland White Terriers weren't our own breed. We were just a white version of the Scottie, Cairn and Dandie Dinmont terriers which came in all sorts of colours.

Can you believe that, once upon a time, they threw away the white whelps (that means puppies if you are not a doggy person) because they thought we were weaklings and unlucky to have around them.

However, the Malcolm family, the Duke of Argyle and other lairds knew better and we were specially selected to be our own breed.

Edward Donald Malcolm, 16th Laird of Poltalloch, did this first in the late nineteenth century. He kept mistaking his brown and sandy coloured dogs for foxes and shot them so he bred only white dogs. He also needed us to work amongst rocks and cairns rather than to work in the open so he bred us to be extra strong, supple, resourceful and able to spring a considerable height.

He bred us with bottoms narrower than our chests so, if we got stuck in holes or between rocks, it was easier to pull us out by the tail. (Note practical length of a Westie tail.) And instead of barrel-shaped ribs, ours are more of a triangle to help with less getting stuck.

We became the Poltalloch Terrier but the laird

didn't like a dog being named after him so they called us West Highland White Terriers.

I am named after Lochinvar, champion West Highland White Terrier in the UK in the 1920s. There was also a Lochinvar Westie in the 1940s in America and the owners named their yacht in his honour. (Note to Dirty Bertie's human dad: change name of yacht to Dirty Bertie.)

When I become a qualified forensic investigator you will have to called me Lochinvar. No more of this cutesy Lochy. I might even get to be a Corporal, Sergeant or Captain. Captain Lochinvar. I like the sound of that.