I'm a long haired git.

It's her fault. Too lazy to book me into my groomer for a haircut. In the meantime, my hair continues to grow. It's almost touching the ground. Not that there is a lot of distance between my tummy and the ground. I have short legs. That doesn't mean I can't run fast, I just need to bounce rather than gallop. It doesn't matter. Fast is fast whichever way you get there.

I have beautiful pearlescent white hair. It is especially pearlescent after I've had a wash. I positively glow in the sunshine.

Not only is my hair pearlescent, I have a double coat.

The undercoat is soft, curly and woolly, with longer guard hairs growing through it. The outer coat is straight and coarser.

I don't participate in poncy dog shows. I don't need to. I know I am a champion.

If I was a show dog, my groomer would strip my coat with a stripping knife to thin it out. That takes a long time.

My groomer just users clippers and scissors depending on which part of me she is cutting. She uses Number 4 blade clippers on my back and sides which is not too short. (I pay attention to such details. It is my hair she is cutting after all and I don't want to end up looking like a skinned rabbit). Then she uses scissors to cut my leg hair, my tail hair and under my tail (my bum). She keeps my tummy hair long. That's my skirt. I prefer to call it my kilt because I am a male. Chest hair stays long.

Face hair needs little scissors. I don't want her sticking her scissors into my eyes so I stand very still. I end up with a square looking face which I'd rather have than the silly looking chrysanthemum cut face that some Westie's have. Toilet brush head I call it.

Finally, she cleans inside my ears, my eyes and cuts my paw nails.

I do look very handsome when she's finished. Mind you, I always look handsome but I'm extra handsome after the groomer has had her way with me.

This should all happen every six weeks. It's almost ten weeks now and I am still waiting for a visit to my groomer. And then she, my human mum, has the temerity to call me a long haired git.