Guess my favorite food

I love olive pits. And, yes, it's pits, not pips. You pit an olive not pip it. I know because I'm the most intelligent dog in the world. They are the best. They are salty and crunchy and just the right size. I have some almost every night because she loves olives and has a little bowl with a glass of wine when she sits down to watch the news on TV. White wine in summer, red wine in winter. I hate wine. I have never tried it but I know I don't like it.

I especially like the Sardinian green olive pits.

I discovered them by accident when I was sniffing a bowl of pits and then into my mouth they went. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch and down the hatch.

She asked the vet if it was OK that I was eating olive pits. He looked a bit surprised. And she said they come out the other end because she can see them in my stools.

"Mmmmm, as long as he doesn't eat too many." Is six a night too many?

If I had to choose between olive pits and Greenies, it would be very hard. I love Greenies, too. They're good for chewing and keep my teeth clean. She bought some other chewy sticks once which I did not like. It has to be Greenies.

I have one after walkies in the morning or in the morning anyway if it's raining and we can't go outside.

She squats down and we play the same game all the time. She spells out L O C H Y in the air just like I saw a man called Picasso drawing an animal with a light stick. It was in a big book with lots of pictures of very strange looking people. All pointy bits and eyes looking in different directions.

Then she waves the Greenie up down side to side and swaps it from hand to hand. I play along and jump up on my back legs and follow the Greenie with my eyes which makes her laugh. I like to make her laugh. But sometimes I wish she would just give me the damn thing and stop teasing me. Begging for food is not my style.

I also like peaches, preferably without the skin and when they are soft and squishy and in small pieces. Oh, and persimmons.

I like my evening meat warm and not straight from the fridge. Mashed up pumpkin is OK. But not too much. Beef or chicken cooked au bleu is best for me because raw meat can contain harmful bacteria and parasites and the heat kills them. The vet said so.

Sometimes I have some nuts. Not the nuts she eats but the crunchy dehydrated full-of-goodness kind that she never eats. I like them in a little pile on the floor not in a bowl.

And then there are the dehydrated Made In Australia liver treats. I know she wants me to sit before she gives me a treat which I do to keep her happy.

I do NOT like apple, pears, carrot, sweet potato, celery, cabbage or all the other vegetables she has tried to add to my meat because she says they are good for me. Not cooked. Not raw. Not at all.

Yuk! And more yuk.

She knows what I like and don't like. I've trained her well.