Am I Lochy or Lorraine?

I am asking because a few days ago I met a little Poodle Maltese cross. Very sweet and petite. Gorgeous fluffy square cut ears. I assumed it was a girl. Until I sniffed her nether regions and realised she was a he.

Fourteen years old and as male as they come.

I was very confused. He was so pretty and well mannered.

I could have falllen in love with him, except that I still harbour love feelings for Maisie, who is a female Westie and definitely my type.

So I started thinking about this girl/boy stuff.

No one every mistakes me for a girl. I am strong of chest, robust, forthright and definitely not delicate.

I have had the snip, as my human mum says, so does that mean I am no longer a boy?

Technically, I am a eunich. But I do still have stirrings for pretty doglets.

Forget the birds and bees, I need to talk to someone about boy and girl dogs. When is

a boy a boy and a girl a girl. Or can a girl be a boy and a boy be a girl?

If I decide that I want to be a girl can I just start being a girl? I would need to let my human mum know. She might want to change my name and get me a new pink harness like lots of the other girl doglets who I see when we are walking.

No more Lochy when I'm good and Lochinvar when I'm bad. I would be Loretta. Loretta with the big brown eyes and truffle black nose. Or is Loretta better for a Spanish Water Dog or a Xoloitzcuintle, otherwise known as a Mexican Hairless Dog, because no one can pronounce the X word. Maybe I should be Lorraine.

It's all too hard. Everytime someone says "Hello, Lochy", human mum would have to correct them and tell them that I am now Lorraine.

And she'd have to tell my groomer so that I can have a more feminine cut.

This is hurting my brain. Who cares? Everyone loves me just the way I am.